Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

WASHINGTON – In a rare display of harsh criticism, President Obama lambasted First Lady Michelle Obama as she and the presidential children were preparing to board Air Force One. When the President first arrived on the tarmac he was all smiles as he waved to press members and staff that had gathered to see the family embark on their twenty-seven day Caribbean vacation. But Obama’s smile faded when he saw what his wife was wearing. After the initial wave of astonishment washed over him, the president’s face filled with scorn as he let fly a blur of caustic remarks that stunned even the more gruff military and secret service personnel standing nearby. Staff Sargent Abraham Kelly told reporters that he was more shocked by the president’s wrath than he was by Mrs. Obama’s panty lines. “When a panty line hugs a behind too tight, it’s not something that rests easy on the eyes. That being said, I think the president’s reaction was a bit over the top. He could have taken her aside and laid into her in private.” Secret Service agent Stan “The Man” Gurgles said  he understood Obama’s reaction to the first lady’s panty lines, but didn’t think […]